The 14th "Secret" or sharing about my book, Trauma and the Golden Lady, is perhaps the most intimate and fundamental. This underlies and permeates all my writing, clinical work and personal life. It is my belief that every life moment, from first to last, is a time and space for meaning and purpose in life and for life. Each human being is a unique gift in life, a precious gift, to be lived as such, to the best of one's ability. Faith in a Gift-giver enables one to remain humble, appreciative of our gift of self and willfully acting towards the impossible dream, one might say; that is, always trying to perfect our self while realizing fully well we will never obtain this goal in our earthly life.
What an ideal! Some might say a fantasy, others a ridiculous or crazy idea. I must admit and truly believe that my longstanding and continuing upholding of this philosophical and spiritual belief is "never" (and, as those that know me know, I infrequently use that negative word) easy. I constantly battle in my mind and with my emotions with the never-ending dilemma of how to see self-as-gift when there exists illness, hatred, hypocracy, evil and other such things. Here is where, I believe, I may most identify with Sylvia Plath. Oh, how I believe she experienced this dilemma. The brilliant psychiatrist, Victor Frankl, spoke of this most fundamental life dilemma, as also containing the solution: "Man' Search For Meaning." He ought to know about the hurt and anguish of life, the deep challenges to our existence! He lost most of his family at Auswitz and suffered there, too.
Yes, I uphold a belief that suicide is an act that is unhealthy and "against" living with and as gift. While this belief is common sense to many, others view it as rigid, authoritarian, intrusive, and even selfish. Yes, as person, therapist and suicidology, this is the line I have drawn, but there is a caveat, a point that many may not see or may assume otherwise. Yes, I judge the act, but I neither judge nor condemn the actor. It is not my place to do so. As I hope is clear in my book, I uphold a love of Sylvia Plath. Yes, I am saddened by her death and death by suicide, but I also "feel" for the many hurts and troubles and burdens she bore. She faced a true life dilemma. May her eternal rest be one of true peace and contentment, that which she truly sought and most of us seek. May she be with God, Love, forever!